| Photos: 31 months |
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We're a couple weeks shy of three years on testosterone. Sounds about right. Sorry it's been so long since the last real update, but life happens and this just didn't make it to the top of my list. My life has changed tremendously since my last post here. My relationship ended, and I found myself evaluating a lot of things around me. I have been spending good energy on myself and my close friends. I've been working on re-centering myself. So far so good.
Being single again brought a lot of things into question personally. On top of the difficult and painful aspects of dealing with the break-up itself, I also had concerns about the prospect of starting another relationship as a transitioned transguy. The same old insecurities about "who would want to be with someone like me?" popped up, but thankfully didn't cause too much of a roadblock. I feel confident in myself, and fortunately I can be equally content alone or sharing my life with another person. Something that I have definitely noticed over the past few years is that the scope of my attraction has broadened. By that I mean I find myself attracted to and interested in a wider range of people, and I am more comfortable relating to different types of people romantically. I have always been (and still am) very attracted to femme women. There was a point when that felt like the extent of my interest, but that's just not true anymore. I have plenty of different thoughts about what is behind this shift, some of which aren't fully developed ideas, and some which feel more personal than what I'm comfortable sharing here at this point. Maybe sometime down the road I will delve a little deeper.
Life's pretty good on other fronts. I guess last time I wrote I had just started my job at the university. I am still there, and I still dislike being a secretary. Incidentally, Secretary's Day is April 26th. I expect flowers. I have come out to several people at work, by my choice. Each time it has been well received. I'm sure there has been talk around the department and that more than the people I have talked to personally have been clued in to my history, and I am comfortable with that. I chose to be open about it because as I built personal connections with some of my coworkers, I wanted to be able to share a complete picture of my life. At this point in my life I am happy with that level of disclosure.
I got sick with Mono over the winter, and ended up losing a bunch of weight and not being able to work out for quite a while. Since I started feeling better I have gained most of that weight back, but I haven't fully gotten back into an exercise routine. It doesn't help that it's freezing outside. I do like the way I feel when I am taking good care of my body physically, though, so I'm working on restarting a regular gym/workout schedule.
Not a whole lot of physical change to report on. I guess I gained and lost some muscle mass in the past six months. I have more body hair, creeping up my stomach and sprouting out in more places around my chest. I feel silly about taking a close up photo so you still don't get to see it, but they're there. You can also make out some of the sexy dark fuzz that is creeping up my back from my ass. Note to anyone considering starting testosterone: make sure you're going to feel okay about ass hair. It's pretty much inevitable.
I'm sure there are things I wanted to say that I'm leaving out. They'll have to wait for the next update (I'll try to make it less than six months away). Until then, here are some photos and horrendously outdated measurements.
| Photos: three years |
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